if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
