Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
