You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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