If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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