Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She bit a glass in half.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm too high and old for this...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
