why didn't you poke me back
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
