Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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