i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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