This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
i think my cat just said my name.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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