we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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