I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
