As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
