gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
