so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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