I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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