This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
