This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
