he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
