i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Boobs are out for the taking
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
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