I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
