So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
