No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
