): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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