why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
