ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
