I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
