Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
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