Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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