he wants to bone in the snuggie
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
