I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
