Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
