White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
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