your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
