Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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