That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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