so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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