An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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