Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
