people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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