Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
