yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
