so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
