The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
