it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
