He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Im just a social blackout drinker.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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