I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
