Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
that is very illegal...i love you.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
