Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
