i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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