He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
